The beginning, again...

Our donor egg cycle has finally begun!

The last few months have been a blur of waiting. Waiting for a phone call, waiting for bloodwork results, waiting for medications to arrive in the mail, waiting for a miracle. Hell, why limit it to the last few months. I've spent my entire life waiting. Waiting for that next event that will define my life to finally take place and set me on my path to fulfillment. It's a bad habit that I've tried several times to break. Is it too late to add another New Year's resolution?

I'm not dwelling on this cycle as much as I have in the past. I'm afraid to think about it. Maybe I'm finally accepting that what happens happens. I can't think about what will happen if we are unsuccessful - its too painful. I can't think about what will happen if we are sucessful - there's too much promise. I'm scared for my future.

Family, friends, St. Gerard... pray for me!